Sunday, February 13, 2005

Rice May Propose a New Israel in New Mexico

This opinion article may not reflect the views of the RAND Institute on these matters.

At the end of this week, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice makes her first trip to the Middle East. But she should understand clearly what is expected of her in the region. Nine years ago, President Clinton's new secretary of State, Warren Christopher, went to Europe to discuss with the allies the war then raging in Bosnia. Perhaps unfairly, the views he presented were widely characterized by Europeans looking for clarity in U.S. policy as lacking a sense of strategy, purpose and commitment, and U.S. leadership was faulted for many months thereafter.

That lesson from Europe applies to the Middle East today: For a newly minted U.S. secretary of State, there is no such thing as a "fact-finding mission" to any major region abroad. At every stop on Rice's itinerary, her audiences will expect to gain a clear perspective on President Bush's thinking on the Middle East crisis, from one end to the other.

Like their European cousins, leaders in the Middle East cut the U.S. administration little slack just because it is fresh to the business of power and diplomacy. They are even less likely to do so this time because Washington has already stepped out boldly to refashion policy toward Iraq, and are deep into an incursion there. The signals are clear; now everyone in the Middle East wants to know what it portends, and they want to know now.

The primary mission of Ms. Rice of course will be to avert further escalation to a full scale war between Israel and its neighbours. With the Saudi initiative toward recognition of Israel largely in exchange for Palestinian repatriation now fading, the State Department has been discussing the repatriation of all Israelis to uncompromised security within America itself.

This radical notion, which proposes relocating five million Israelis to the State of New Mexico, has met with surprising support from Washington insiders. The overreaching plan is to ask the Arab world to compensate Israel ($100 Billion) with matching funds from the US to resettle all Jews into New Mexico, which closely resembles their desert homeland.

This solution would see the Middle East freed of their long time antagonists, while America would benefit from the proven technical savvy and resourcefulness of Israeli citizens. Assistance traditionally extended to Israel by American Jews could now be directed toward constructive resettlement instead of war materiel, while the US would benefit from greatly reduced tensions among middle east oil producers.

It is believed that the $200 Billion reserved for the building of the next generation of advanced fighter planes could be cut in half to finance the American portion of the resettlement, as one benefit of the resolution of this conflict.

It remains to be seen if Ms. Rice will have the vision or direction to place the proposal into discussion, and how it may be received both in Israel and within the Arab world. A permanent solution to Israel’s conflicts has grown to become one of history’s seeming impossibilities, and it would take the courage of a military commander, at least, to pursue this idea to its rightful conclusion. With Mr. Colin Powell's departure, the task now moves to Ms. Rice.

Dwight Gilbert Jones, is a senior advisor to NATO and a distinguished philosopher.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Adding Photo


Working on a new photo as well..

Copyright Dwight Gilbert Jones, all rights reserved

The First, Founding, and Nituit Nations

RATIONALE We are the Nituit Nation, and we claim most of Canada. We say most, because we agree that Quebec must leave per their request. Once we were called Canadians, but no one listens to mere Canadians any more, so we are providing this Manifesto as a new blueprint for Canada.

Who are the Nituits? We are the descendants of the people who created the most decent and prosperous nation on Earth. We ar enot the First Nations, we are the Founding Nations. Yet we are also the same fools who are progressively letting others claim Canada, while assuring ourselves that we are laudable for doing so. We’ll have Nunavut, and we’ll see no more of Canada lost to this folly.

FIRST NATIONS The First Nations, less than two percent of our population, cost taxpayers more than $7 Billion annually. It seems that $10,600 for every native is not enough – even racist if Mr. Coon Come is to be believed.

At a recent fishing protest on the BC coast it was mentioned that “94 First Nations were involved in that coastal fishery”. We must find out the rules for such nationhood. As the Nituit Nation, should we too be allowed to benefit fully from western civilization’s benefits, if, at the same time, we can absolve ourselves of any responsibility for the deeds of the human species? Can we also revert to selling furs to the Japanese or killing whales, or smuggling and casinos for that matter, as if this were the 17th century?

QUEBEC As former Canadians, we disapprove of Quebec’s promise to divide the Nituit Nation into two pieces, even the Nituits cannot be fooled in this matter. We agree with Quebec’s Premier Landry that we should work with him to effect the separation of Quebec, and we actually insist that it happen as expeditiously as possible. We must retain the five percent of Quebec below the St. Lawrence River, however, to maintain the physical integrity of our Nation.

DEFENCE Our only possible enemies are tramp steamers full of illegal immigrants, and the United States, they being the New Romans and the pre-eminent “rogue state”. There are two possible defences against the USA, and the first is nuclear suitcase bombs, which could get a bit ugly.

Eventually another nation is going to point out the existence of such bombs in the US, and Mr. President will have a problem. Such weapons are the reason why Mr. Bush’s spacey Maginot II proposal will do little except bankrupt Americans the same way nuclear subs ruined the USSR. But we must not take a military approach to this.

Instead, we emulate the model of Sweden or Switzerland, declare neutrality, and continue to work for the respect of the rest of the world, which was so ably earned by our no-count ancestors of the previous century.

To do this we can consider building hospital ships instead of more frigates, and serving the poor in this world. We can convert the navy into a strong Coast Guard service. And we’ll send no soldiers for peacekeeping, let us be the doctors for the desperate on this planet, medecins sans frontieres, and train our children to continue that. World opinion would then be the most effective defence against any invader, if we in turn might need help, until the UN is finally empowered.

HEALTH CARE The citizens of the Nituit Nation are not seeking free health care, nor union health care, and especially not government health care. No, they desire affordable, advanced, and timely health care, and business can best provide that through competition.

If a citizen finds, at tax time, that he or she has paid more than ten percent of their taxable income that year on health care, the government then refunds them the balance. There’s the beginning and the end of government participation. Otherwise we are all condemned to none of the above. If the “citizen” is somehow not a taxpayer, that is their choice.

A WORLD PARK It is imperative to stop hunting the little ones in our keeping, for sport, and to appreciate them for what they are – our most valuable national assets. The forests and seas need some respite, as does the prairie from our livestock habits. Allow our scientists to increasingly find ways to feed us without displacing all of Nature.

As the decades go by, our Nation holds the last true wildlife and wild areas of any size left on this planet. Canada will soon be a Mecca for every human being, and we should profit from that, if need be, and preserve our home as a World Park. With foresight, we can be the lungs of the northern hemisphere, helping to heal what the human plague is doing to the rest of our burdened planet.

Until that day, please stand up for Canada.

The Creation of Acadie

I have an alter ego named Hagood Looken, who gives me the down-low on sensitive subjects, often in unseemly terms. Although he favours matters that dare not speak their name, the Irish in me yearns to get into trouble, and I fake an interest.

“This isn’t Canada anymore,” says Hagood, “it’s the Nituit Nation.”

Ordinarily I would have asked him to spell Nituit, but since he’s a figment of my imagination, I already know.

“What is it this time?” I inquired. He flashed those affecting eyes and continued.

“Canada undefended. The Liberals represent the Liberals, not Canada, and that’s a serious consideration. Nobody is positioning Quebec, and the country will be fractured.”

“Positioning?”

“It’s an advanced concept you haven’t fully capiched yet; but it's sort of like National Architecture 101. I’m a Quebec separatist- we need an independent Quebec.”

And all this time I had thought he was just a debonair Dutch expatriate, somewhat roguish, assuringly rugged, and, well, I digress.

I pretended to be surprised at his comment. We had gone over this many times, my dark side and I, and I did an article on it for the Globe in ’79, before the 1980 referendum. I had proposed that Quebec indeed separate, but leave the south shore of the St. Lawrence River in Canada.

The south shore of Quebec is then appended to New Brunswick, and that overly-Anglo name detached from Canada’s new French-speaking province - Acadie.

There was a kafuffle in Montreal when the article was reprinted, but the idea died.

“I see that France is interested, what with Premier Charest travelling to Mexico with French Prime Minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin.” I said.

“It makes perfect sense.” said Hagood. “Could you imagine a Paris-French renaissance in Quebec? And the influence of Euro-French culture on Acadie, our New France? The prospect is delicious..it would be exhilarating!”

“What about Labrador?” I asked.

“Quebec. But Newfoundland gains the rights to its resources, and they become the cod cowboys.. . Think they’re rich? Montreal becomes an open city, like a duty free Singapore, and Mirabel rules the North American air freight industry.”

I searched both my minds in a vain attempt to find something wrong with this picture.

Somewhere a bird fell asleep. I closed my eyes.

Ganges Marina at a Crossroads

If you’re a boater, the rescue of the Ganges Marina from near-oblivion is a welcome prospect. With two miles of dock space behind its solid new breakwater, it is Salt Spring’s biggest and most critical marine facility, and a gateway contributor to the Ganges economy.

Despite its importance, the Island has been cold to the recent efforts to keep things alive there, and has at times shown outright animosity to its owner, Rick Barbieri, who retrieved it from bankruptcy. Despite our gratuitous use of the word “community”, in truth Salt Spring is one of the most stratified and backbiting locales in all of Canada. The population is layered between the old freaks and farmers once dominant in the 70’s, up to the ever-increasing gentrification gang driving new SUV’s and trying to fit in with their hand-wrinkled Tilley hats. We have the largest population in Canada without a skating rink, and God is thus punishing us for our silliness.

Naturally, the inevitable magpies have guanoed on the marina’s plans at every turn. An admittedly ugly barge serving as a breakwater was effectively run out of the harbour, and its departure is not lamented by anyone. So far so good. But when the new breakwater was completed, and properly so in every respect, our planners demanded that it be surveyed to see if it was within the foreshore lease. It was, by three feet. So the Trust has ruled that only boats narrower than three feet can tie up on its outside edge…

At the same time the lease abuts another foreshore reserve to the extent that there is no right of way to the fuel dock for any vessel. That was an administrative mistake from an earlier era, but there is no great impetus to make that right. Where are our legal martinets on this one?

When Mr. Barbieri brought in an attractive period floathouse in which to house offices during the construction period, the nearby NIMBY’s screamed anew, and forced him to post a $16,000 bond towards towing it out of there, once construction was done. The cabin is on a barge that is a federally registered vessel, and is beyond the Trust’s jurisdiction, but the funds were nonetheless deposited. The Trust would have lost any suit, but NIMBY’s don’t really care if they get the town into trouble, and they do their best to do just that.

On January 10th at the Harbour House the developers hosted an open house with a comprehensive presentation of the development as a whole, including a few suites on a separate small lot across the street from the marina.

At the open house some salient facts soon became clear :
The development is predicated on a small area beneath the present ramp being filled in, to subtend a building, which is appears to be one storey high (from the road) as it articulates down the slope.
The building will house some residential suites and about 4000 sq; ft. of retail space (the Trust insisted on the latter).
The fuel tanks will be moved, all sewage goes ashore, and plenty of parking is reserved.
Two park areas along the road will be dedicated and maintained by the marina.
While 33% site coverage is permitted, only 25% will actually be used.
No variances are requested by the developers, everything is within zoning and building specifications as the application now stands.

Those in attendance at the open house were approving of the obvious professionalism of the presenting parties- architect Darwin Sveinson and development spokesman Robyn Kelln- and their detailed plans were displayed along the walls of the room. The long sought boardwalk would now run through to Mr. Gordon Cudmore’s property, that being the remaining gap blocking completion. Any fair-minded person could determine that this proposal made sense, and was scaled to suit the services necessary for visiting boaters, while respecting public input to date.

When asked, Mr. Barbieri commented that he was certainly open to the establishment of an informal Ganges (Gumboot?) Yacht Club, and to an arrangement whereby its fingers would not be dedicated in the summer months, but held open for rental in peak season. Local boats would be fitted in during that period, with dedicated slips otherwise.. This would afford welcome relief for the overcrowded Centennial Marina, and be a good reason to actually use your boat. If interested, please contact the writer at exec@imagen.net. Winter moorage is presently priced at $5/ft/mo.

Boaters might keep in mind that the Seattle Yacht Club and Meydenbauer Bay Yacht Club have claimed dock space so far. Let’s realize *soon* that if we finally break the patience of the developer, that the floats may be contracted outright for use as a seasonal outstation, the sad but predicable fate of the marina in Long Harbour in our bifurcated bailiwick.

If that happens, it is evident that the Saturday Market and our merchants will not be quite so busy as they are now. And that local boaters will be broken-hearted, with a possible dockside village of the sort so beloved by mariners, instead lying abandoned nine months of the year, like many of our houses.

Must we all decamp to Palm Springs again, Deah?

The Pleasures of the Porch

With two kids newly in college, there is a novel silence in my kitchen, and much cherished, thank you. It is now just a battle of wits between my fridge of high pressure, and myself, an unarmed man.

It is disquieting to be sitting in quieter contemplation with my expansion kits, and then suddenly have to endure the flatulence of some asinine motor driving my refrigerator compressor and me insane. Roaring across the floor at me.

What to do? I consult my advanced Zen sensibilities, and calmly decide that I can merely move the bottom half of the (next) fridge into the basement. When I get rich. I expect that there are inaudible antique cabinets which can conceal the cornucopiae of the supermarket, but not for me.

I flash on a better, even more Zen-ish brillig. The fridge can be moved around the corner into the laundry room, away from my outraged provenance. This might also help out my proto-obesity problem. It would have to wait until someone came over to help.

Instead, I rely on a tactic I developed in Coon Bay, at my squatter’s cabin there - early seventies. A 16X16 cabin can be quite intimate and noisy, when folks are over, and I evolved the tactic of stepping outside now and then, onto my little porch. Here the island skies were ablaze with God’s glories, his gentle breezes refreshed me, and I would feel positively Nirvanian.

This in turn brought on a ritual prompted by our dark winter evenings, and the dripping, rinsing rains. In the stillness of that wet world, here was the steamy pleasure of peeing off the porch.

One must careful not to water shrubs, as my wife has pointed out to me entire areas where even moss won’t grow. No matter, this a delicity of this umbral season, when the heavens carry away our sins.

It is getting harder to disguise my ablutions, as common smokers of the hard stuff now habitually blunder out the door. They soon recognize the ploy, and inevitably take matters into their own hands. Most women accept my apologies.

I must return to my seat again at the castle mount, and pump up for the next time.

The Rose Knose

I leaned to listen to a rose
Try to smell out what it knows
Just then it whispered-
“Let me tell you-
I bend you down so I can smell you”.

Drugs and the Man, and the Kids

“Started out in Burnaby and soon hit the harder stuff " ....Not Dylan

It was Friday night and my teenagers were about to head out on the town, if we have one. “No more pot!” I bellowed from the kitchen table.

I reflected on my own peckered past and my use of drugs, dating from the early 60’s. Pot of course, then the inevitable experiments with LSD (Sandoz quality), some psilocybin, a little MDA, and some mushrooms rounded out my summers of love period.

Cocaine? Forget it - like the time I took PCP, a horse tranquilizer, on Wreck Beach and had to sit there for three hours after the sun set because I was paralyzed, disgustingly sober the entire time, trapped within a waking anaesthesia.

Now, if we expect Canadian teenagers to be oblivious to marijuana, we had may as well try to sneak the morning sun past a rooster. While many parents try to hide their pot or booze habits from their kids, I have instead always been odiferously evident in my proclivity. I am not teaching furtiveness.

My strategy was to give up the ground held by beer and pot, and in retreat, warn of the hellish world of the “three P’s”, these being Pills, Powders and Pinpricks. Along with hard liquor and its combination with the ever-present menace of the automobile – there be dragons there.

“If you want to grow a layer of white fat all over your body like the beer pigs,’ I told them, “go ahead - and puff the odd joint, but don’t destroy your brain, liver and kidneys with vodka and gin, or come home dead. And let your own imagination and emotions entertain you, not your bloodstream.”

I candidly recounted stories such as rolling home drunk on Tequila, and my discovery that if you are seeing double, it helps to close one eye. Driving around stoned and/or drunk with the radio maxed out is highly pleasurable to young adults, and something we oldies must admit before warning of it.

If you sample enough drugs, you eventually find a drug with your name on it, in big letters. Then you’re hooked for life. Nicotine is a pernicious example, even caffeine - I am forever grateful that I have had no taste for either of those.

“If a drug works, it’s addictive.” I would say to them - there’s no mystery, just a powder waiting to mock your own feeble endorphins, and to enslave you. Speed has taken some friends who could not pull out of its spiral. I hope you rest now in peace - Wolfram, George, and Neil. Then there’s the myriad women wired on Valium or some such downer - possibly the largest group of real stoners in our culture (along with the aged) - with their "good" pharmaceutical fare.
The human eagle is now forced to live like the ant, and drugs, even seemingly innocuous ones like sugar, are ubiquitous. Adapting has become a matter of finding a bird with similar drug habits and settling your feathers into a cell somewhere. Sad.

I can say that my triage method of giving up some ground, and being forward and educational with them, does seem to have moderated my kids' (ab)use of drugs. After puking a number of times after dances, and seeing their friends grovel in the ditches, they have discarded power drinking as a weekend priority – that’s real progress. And they don’t smoke the hard stuff - hallelujah!

“No pot!” I screamed again as I glared over at the supper dishes they were dodging on their way out the door.

“Dad,” one said, “if I lend you a joint will you do them for us?” “Deal!” I said, wondering what a man had to do to relax and find some solace in this world.

Battle Orders for the Saltspring Provisional Army (SPA)

As your Commander, it is my duty to inform all units that our independent state is about to be invaded by US forces now marshalling in Friday Harbour. Determined not to have “another Cuba, kitty-corner from Fidel’s”, they aim to crush our revolution before it begins - although intelligence is still sketchy and they may just be planning a crackdown on Cuban cigars.

We must assume that the enemy shall be attempting to land elite units in the Bay of Fulford, with naval intrusions into Ganges Harbour.

THE DEFENCE OF FULFORD

Enemy plans call for their commandos to be disguised as OAP operatives who will arrive on a string of tour buses, commandeering the ferry Skeena Queen as a troop transport. Since the catering facilities on the Queen are dismal, we must assume that they will first try to seize Rose’s Cantina, avoiding the Resting Company (a notorious gray bar in their eyes, and certainly no Starbucks), with their ultimate target undoubtedly Patterson’s store with its last few copies of the Globe&Mail.

As the first tour bus climbs the ramp, Captain Warner will lead the charge by leaping up and grabbing the windshield wipers of the bus, (providing it is not raining), then neutralize their driver with Gaelic expletives.

Our women regulars will then hurl patchouli-scented leaflets through their windows, announcing that the Saturday market is cancelled to demoralize their troops, then slash the bus tires with their tree-planting mattocks.

As always, in their trademark tactic taught to them by the Ghurkhas, they’ll be chaining themselves to the back bumper, after the muffler has cooled down a bit. This action should trap the entire contingent, delay the next sailing another fifteen minutes, and form a good subject for a local film.

SECURING VESUVIUS

Our best men, battle-hardened by years of conflict with RCMP helicopters, will be held in reserve, first emptying the liquor store to deny succor to the enemy, after which they will pick up their high tech weapons at Radio Shack and move north to secure the Vesuvius Inn and ferry dock from possible seizure. There they will throw up a smoke screen, while monitoring ship movements in Sansum Narrows and the Stanley Cup playoffs.

In the long summer afternoons, we must try to maintain esprit de corps, with a belligerent posture to defray unwise incursions by enemy formations and wives. I shall personally be visiting these main units to stand alongside you.

REINFORCEMENTS AT LONG HARBOUR

More buses will arrive aboard the Queen of Nanaimo, this time bringing our Chinese reinforcements from Vancouver. All B&B operators must be on duty there to see that these volunteers are properly fleeced at Hastings House and then bivouacked into the surrounding hills.

All such accommodations must be prepaid before being issued, and the Army accepts all major credit cards. I need not remind you that approved Gucci apparel must be worn on the battlefield at all times. Sunglasses are a must, but these events are no longer sponsored by RayBan.

OUR COUNTER-STRIKE FROM FULFORD AIR FORCE BASE

Our B-152 bomber is now fully armed with a solution of Cusheon Lake water mixed in with undercooked Tofu and Sushi. It is to fly down to Bangor, WA and let loose its fearsome payload over the Trident submarine pens. Needless to say, sub crews with the trots will want to scuttle their ships before long, and we can expect them to be out of the war indefinitely. Yes, it’s germ warfare and not quite Geneva, but look at what they’ve done to our loved ones, our Canadian dollars.

THE CRUCIAL ENGAGEMENT FOR GANGES HARBOUR

Our observers have confirmed that the USS Gates, supported by a task force including the pre-war USS Streisand will arrive at the mouth of the harbour beginning with the long weekend, and we have deployed our Russian submarine from Victoria’s inner harbour to Ganges Marina (for the summer only) to lie in wait for them. Admiral Ross should have her refloated and operational soon, and my orders are for the Moskovskaya to then pick its way through the minefield of crab traps - right out there on the Ganges fairway - and confront the foe.

In the meantime our surface vessel the Queen of de Nile will engage their flagships by first offering to sell them electricity, then quickly pushing aboard with Thrifty’s foods flyers (all prices in Canadian dollars) to spread panic among the crews’ quartermasters.

Meanwhile, forty Realtors otherwise too ambitious for combat will nonetheless be waiting in their Ganges offices and listening intently to Major Black on CBC Radio Sooke, for the secret word that will tell them when to all flush their toilets simultaneously. The resulting brown wave out in Ganges harbour is expected to soil the britches and Sperry’s of every enemy Petty Officer and send their fleet packing.

In this dire time I remind all personnel that Saltspring expects every man to be a beauty, and to call forth our rallying cry: “Remember the Cy Peck!”

God is Dead, and Humanism is Born

Humanism is not dead, God forbid ;-) The mistake secular humanists make (if they make any of course...) is that theism, or deism, and religion are one and the same. In rejecting the first two, they unaccountably toss out religion with the bathwater.

A case can be made that life, love and nature are sacred to humanity. Further, the edifice of a "church" can perform functions on behalf of humanists that they cannot do alone. An example is teaching humanism, promoting world community, and opposing divisive theistic influences, from an equal institutional footing.

Humanists need to view Man scientifically, and to have an institution that oversees our interests. For too long, the organized religions have benefited from the granular, unorganized state of humanism - so much so that we remain close to a medieval world where mankind remains in poverty.

Once humanists understand the value of the "church" edifice, minus the theistic and supernatural aspects associated with it to date, then the movement will come into full flower.

Only then will we emerge from being considered as mere atheists, from being viewed in terms of who we are not, rather than as the species seeking to govern ourselves, as we are.

The PC ----> Premises Computer

Access to the Internet to it is an understandable farce, and the nascent architectures reflect expedience as each provider’s main consideration to date. Thus we see phone companies recycling their old phone lines, cable companies delivering everything over cable, wireless companies by wireless, electric companies over electricity lines. Soon the railroads may lay track to every home. All to get at the information superhighway – did I miss the Dept. of Highways?

Each of these parties promise the help of the fibre optics gods, but there is hardly any fibre in Canadian homes at this juncture. And we will never need more than one good feed, any more than we need two gas companies.

This has eaten up the last decade at least, after small ISP’s had hijacked much of the public phone system, before their smug owners could decide what to do about it, and belatedly grabbed it back.

So one would expect that some progress is finally being made, but no, we are presented with plans such as Ontario’s, to place smart electricity meters in every home by 2010, at a cost of $1 Billion. What’s wrong with a meter that can reward you for turning down the heat, and saves money and power through astute management? Oddly enough, the problem is that in this instance they are not delivering the Internet with it. Doh!

This is a mistake in network architecture. Simply put, they are not paying attention to the givens for this problem.

The first is right-of-way. The companies bringing wire services, be it television, telephone, or net access are using telephone poles on which to string their cables, as they have always done. Also using poles are the electrical utilities, and usually these poles are separate along every street, despoiling every thoroughfare in the nation.

If we look closer at physical right-of-way, we see that the electrical companies actually retain the prime right-of-way everywhere. They also enjoy the cross country power corridors along which run their high tension lines. Why did we build a second set of poles? On both sides of the streets? Ouch!

Now consider each building itself. The electrical companies, indeed all of the public utilities for gas, water, heat etc. must monitor, measure and bill their customers. And so we see this initiative in Ontario to install smart meters, which is short-sighted.

These meters have to contact headquarters with their readings, and what better way to do that than to use the Internet, back out over the same wires? Well, that's not what is planned. Instead, these meters will talk to the electricity company by wireless. And so the hodgepodge, piggybacking continues...

Enter the Premises Computer

Let’s redefine what we mean by PC - this is a panel computer that replaces your fuse box, the building or suite’s electrical panel. This is just a compact industrial PC that can be fitted with individual cards in it, such as you can insert into any home desktop computer. That was the advantage of the IBM PC, and has been ever since – an open architecture that is cheap, standard, and very well understood with wide adoption.

This is given number two: that every building will some day have such a panel computer to control its functions – utility delivery, security functions, as well as providing Internet access at high speed over the electrical utilities’ right-of-way. You begin to see the congruencies.

With high-speed Internet, we have a conduit for television and telephone services, in addition to raw access to the Web. Most of those ugly telephone poles can forever be removed. These panel computers will also function as WiFi receivers so that both the people using that building, and those just passing by shall be able to access the Net at full speed and wirelessly. Cell phones disappear in the city - if you can “see” a building you’re connected with a simpler WiFi phone.

Separate channels on this computer will be reserved for the use of the utilities, third parties, entertainment, communications, and security companies. The building’s users and the general public will enjoy the highest possible speeds at the highest number of points. Like the street in front of your house, anyone can use it.

At some point, high speed net access will be taken for granted, as heat and water is now in every building, and we shall no more worry about bandwidth than we do now about what voltage and amperage is in our wall outlets. The human eye can only see so many frames per second, and once we have that, the job is done.

Where are the Nortel engineers when we need them?

775 words

The Nituit Nation

Is it always politically incorrect to stand up as a Canadian, concerned for the future integrity of our country? Are we over-patriotic zealots if it saddens us to see the erosion of federal powers toward small interest groups, to see the governance of parts of Canada handed to various factions claiming prehistorical residency?

Can we be indignant when a province proposes to forever bisect the country into two broken pieces, as Quebec leaders so often propose?

Of course it’s not correct, that’s why you’re not reading this. But these truths must speak their names, so let’s get on with it.

The First Nations land claims
From government figures, the registered native population of Canada doubled from 1985 to 2000, and now sits about 750,000 . From my vantage point, these people are suddenly doing very well, or else registering for an imminent land claims payday. That less than 3% of our population now claims more than 100% of the country should raise alarms, but hey, we’re Canadians, the People of the Beer.

The government currently recognizes 49 First Nations. As for Nunavut, we’ll have none of it – it’s Canada. Since it is time for all citizens to enter their claims now, before the deadline passes, I want to enter a claim for the 50th state, I mean Nation.

The name of our band is the Nituit Nation. We are not properly a First Nation, instead we are made up of the two Founding Nations, the people of French and English descent in Canada, resident here since 1867 or earlier.

Now I realize that founding Canada was a minor achievement, and an outrage to the other 49 Nations, but hey, we’re Canadian and have to live with each other. As the Nituit Nation, we have embraced advanced concepts, including a recognition that our traditional activities, such as fighting Indian wars, are not really sacred to us anymore.

Recognizing that we are members of the human species, we are ready to accept the fact that hunting and fishing and warfare may not be an appropriate livelihood anymore, that humans everywhere have doubled in numbers recently, and tribalism may be too insular an approach to things. But put us in for our 100%+ of Canada as well.

The Nituit Nation are Quebec Separatists
The Bloc Quebecois leader Gilles Duceppe argues that Quebec would do better outside Canada, and the Nituit Nation agrees, but with one provision. The lands south of the St. Lawrence River would remain in Canada, be appended to New Brunswick, and combined lands would be renamed Acadia.

With this adjustment, Canada remains a physically undivided country, and retains the French-speaking base it has enjoyed for centuries past. It gives Quebeckers a choice of where they want to live. And it offers Quebec true independence, where it is free to become another Sweden or Norway, or to ally itself directly with France if it wishes.

This arrangement would release both countries from today’s dangerous neverendums, and allow all citizens to stop acting like Nituits, and be secure as Canadians.